About? Brussels is a city without a master plan. Charming, but filthy and inefficient. Misgoverned for ages, Brussels craves for a political reformer. That’s why we want to call in the Colombian maverick Antanas Mockus (and send our gerontocracy to Bouvetøya). An article about the darker sides of Brussels, student exchange for politicians, governmental inventiveness and mooning.

The isle of Bouvetoya


Meanwhile in Brussels…

Brussels is a peculiar city. Charmingly chaotic, but filthy. At the head of juggernaut Europe, but highly underpaid. Tolerant, but indifferent. Ugly, but beautiful behind its façade (or vice versa). A midget compared to every metropolis on earth, but shockingly inefficient (19 municipalities, no captain). At the frontline of two languages, and thus often abused in Belgium’s embarrassing communal stranglehold. A city of minorities only, governed by a rusty barony of sullen mayors. Brussels is an old whore, sings urban vagabond Arno Hintjens with a great deal of no-nonsense Brussels verve.

The city’s open as an old whore
Where it’s expensive to be poor
Petit pays avec un grand esprit
Where they speak no language at all

So far Brussels’ downward elevator pitch.

Arno Hintjens


Molenbeek exodus

A few weeks ago, all spotlights were on Molenbeek, one of Brussels’ more problematic municipalities (pauperism, machismo, youth unemployment, immigration, Islamic militancy, clientelism, bigotry, vandalism). The reason was the withdrawal of two well-known advertising agencies from Molenbeek’s maritime neighborhood because of violence problems (and lack of space). Talking with and employing locals, hiring a security company to chaperon the employees, camouflage outfits (long skirts for women), nothing worked well.

For years now, Molenbeek looks a bit like a stagnated place where many nationalities live but barely together; a tight multicultural community is absent (only an institutionalized version exists in the minds of politicians), except for a handful of small-scale initiatives and community committees. Its citizens make the best of it, but higher up Brussels is the epicentre of non-government, bogged down in a quagmire of indifference and mediocrity. Brussels politicians don’t think in challenging nuances beyond their municipalities’ borders. A bit of pottering in the margins, that’s Brussels. The buck is being passed, endlessly.

Playing the ostrich

The advertising agencies’ exodus was followed by a discussion in the Flemish and Brussels media; some leftish people living in Brussels put their political correctness where it belongs, testified about their negative experiences and suggested ideas for improvement. In reaction to this, Molenbeek’s Francophone socialist mayor Philippe Moureaux, who has a lengthy monopoly by buying off power, lashed out in the national press. Inclining to the paranoid, he said that all the critique is a conspiracy against his municipality (…). There are no Americans in Bagdad, sort of.

Philippe Moureaux, mayor of Molenbeek (Brussels)

Brussels, our beast

Many Brussels citizens avoid Molenbeek in the evening – me too – and live in better, more balanced Brussels neighborhoods (such as Schaarbeek, Vorst and St.Gilis), where you have less problems. So by writing negatively about Brussels, I feel a bit guilty. Guilty of bashing my own city, guilty of shading its bright sides. It’s not all phlegm and assaults. And Molenbeek too can be very peaceful, on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

Most other young Brussels citizens too are inclined to sugarcoat the city’s negative points. Because they avoid the bad quarters, because they live in the bad quarters but want to make the best of it, because they have yin and just as much yang flowing through their veins, and, often, because they are proud to be tough.

Brussels is our beast: it’s dingy and aggressive, but show it some affection and it’s a loyal friend forever. We can take it. We can absorb Brussels’ hectic irregularities, flying phlegm, racing Mercedeses, dirty pavements, its daily brutalities and skirmishes, its spiraling real estate prices (thank you Eurocrats, thank you expats). All this only makes us love Brussels more. “Fire is the test of gold,” the old saying goes, “adversity the test of strong men.” Brussels citizens are tested every day and every day they prove they deserve some kind of metal.

Romanticizing this daily endurance test is a full right for habitants, I guess. It’s an attempt of the good-natured to mentally beam away all the unqualified politicians, but also the blunt boors among their fellow townsmen, the antisocial people scattering around rubbish and insults, deserving as much of the blame. See this romanticizing as a means of survival. It’s ok, as long as it doesn’t slow down progression.

But such a self-fulfilling prophecy attitude should be strictly forbidden for politicians, they are paid to not rest on their laurels. Unfortunately, the Brussels political arena has become more a place to show off personality and power, than one to battle out good ideas. Fortunately, there are exceptions. But not in Brussels, alas.

Superstar Mockus

We had to travel all the way to Colombia to find a truly inspiring politician who defies every stereotype about Colombia and most of those about politicians too. His name is Antanas Mockus Šivickas, a major member of the Colombian Green Party and in his free time a mathematician/ philosophy professor.

Antanas Mockus

In a former life, Mockus was the rector of the National University of Bogotá – a then turbulent hotbed of Farc sympathizers and anarchists. An often-quoted example of his unorthodox way of dealing with things is his now infamous mooning act. During a students gathering in 1993, Mockus got so irritated that he leapt up, dropped his pants, and showed the audience his buttocks for minutes. It was, he declared afterwards, “as well an act of the greatest contempt as of the ultimate submission.”

The mooning-incident became a national scandal, and Mockus was forced to resign as a rector. But, he got the loving attention of the public that was once and for all introduced to a man with a lot of brave brains, a contagious feeling for humor, never hiding that he too is a fallible human being. The kind of politician, too, who makes you jump up and wonder, “Did he really say that?!”.

Mockus’ popularity rose, and in 1995 and 2001, he was elected to be Bogotá’s mayor, during which he became known for springing transformative, surprising initiatives. He treated his job as a great experiment in civic responsibility. His campaigns often included local artists or personal appearances by Mockus himself – taking a shower in a commercial about conserving water, or walking the streets dressed in spandex and a cape as “Supercitizen”.

Antanas Mockus alias Superman

To combat traffic violence, Mockus assigned all traffic policemen to follow mime classes, and let them mock traffic violators (nothing is more embarrassing for a macho than being mocked at, reasoned Mockus). A Night for Women encouraged men to stay at home while 700,000 females enjoyed the city. Antanas Mockus seems to be an inexhaustible source of brilliant political ideas.

Mime playing policeman in Bogota


Mockus’ human approach worked. Road deaths halved, the water campaign cut water use by 40%, while another led 63,000 people pay a voluntary 10% tax to improve services. Being an independent politician, Mockus also gave short shrift to corruption and nepotism. Thanks to Mockus, Bogotá became a model of civic improvement.

Colombian author Juan Gabriel Vásquez (now living in Barcelona) on Antanas Mockus: “He did an incredible job as mayor. When I left, Bogotá was a very violent, stressful city to live in. People had forgotten how to resolve conflicts peacefully; he taught them to live together again.”

Mockus in Molenbeek

Mockus advocates a just society without being politically-correct-leftwing. He is a politically “unspoiled” outsider without being inexperienced. Specialized in the unexpected and the countercultural, it’s clear that this maverick is cut out for breaking open the field of vision of Brussels’ mayors, and find ideas to deal with the aggressive machismo of Molenbeek’s juvenile gangs. A man who cut the crime in Bogotá, must know how to tackle Molenbeek. We’ll pay his travel expenses, mr. Philippe Moureaux. From then on, it’s up to you.

About Poke Poke: Every Monday, biweekly, Base Brussels’ copywriter and researcher Jasmine De Bruycker pokes the week with her view on the world. In her posts, she links and sews together different themes and impressions to give you something to muse on during the week. Nothing is sacred. Anything is worth exploring. See this series as an omnivore’s tribute to these unleashed roller coaster times, with influences pelting us from every imaginable corner of the world.